So I Wet My Pants on Monday

I swear I was having this much fun.

To be fair, I didn’t lose control of my bladder, but I did have to ride home in the rain for the first time.

When it comes to my love of being on two wheels, there are few things that will make me question taking a ride. One is the constant fear of someone Snapchatting their latest in-car concert and running into me, and the other, until Monday, was getting caught in the rain.

I knew from the moment I started riding that it would eventually happen. While my M50 is not the only form of transportation I have, I still ride as much as possible no matter what the reason. I accepted that getting rained on will happen, and I just needed to not make a big deal about it.

Weeks ago, I had rode to the gym at night since my LOVELY weather app was positive it would not rain until my bedtime…adults have bedtime too. Well the app was wrong and I received a very frantic phone call from my uncle while working out saying he was ready to arrange a convoy of trailers to drive my bike ten minutes home in the shower. I, however, was not ready to call the National Guard and waited for the rain to stop before driving home.

I did not die and had learned a great deal about wet-weather riding from that quick jaunt home. I felt comfortable, the fear was gone, and also had a sense of truly joining the club from that. Little did I know I was wrong, so wrong.

This past Monday, I checked the same app while eating breakfast and noticed that while it was going to be a cloudy day, I should still be able to ride to work. Luckily for me, my commute is ten minutes from home which made it an even easier decision. Later that day I was at my desk, and I noticed that darker clouds are starting to form. It wasn’t too long before the drizzle started, which then turned to a light shower, which then turned to full on rain.

As 5:30 inched closer and closer, I started to realize that I was going to have to actually ride in the rain. A little fear came back, and all my confidence I gained just weeks before was slowly fading away. It was time to leave work and since I didn’t have Jeremy Clarkson’s brave pills, I took a deep breath and geared up. This is how the ride home went:

1. (Sitting on the bike before leaving work)
2. 1. Sweet baby Jesus I don’t want to low-side Selene (my bikes name, sue me). If it is going to happen to me, it is bound to happen today.
   2. What if some dingleberry rear ends me while checking the weather?
   3. Just go low and slow Mike.
   4. DEAR GOD I AM THE WETTEST PERSON IN THE WORLD ALREADY
3. (Leaving the office parking lot)
4. 1. Okay, we can do this, just ride that clutch and rear brake.
   2. Wow, that car behind me is actually keeping their distance, cheers to you buddy.
   3. Actually this is kinda fun, why am I laughing?
   4. SO WET, GLASSES STEAMING, LOSING VISION, MUST OPEN VISOR….RAIN IN THE EYEEEEEEEEEEE.
5. (At the light before entering my neighborhood)
6. 1. I still can’t stop laughing, am I going crazy or was this fun?
   2. So glad there wasn’t a cop around to see me lane split around that Prius, nobody can crash into my poo-shute!
   3. Pause internal thoughts since the guy next to me rides and is talking to me about his experience getting caught in the rain. Bikelife frieeeeeeeends!
   4. It’s official, my lower body could only be more wet if was standing in a pool.
   5. I’M BIKER RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK….why’d I shout that into my helmet.
7. (Pulling into garage)
8. 1. I’m not dead!
   2. Nobody (except that Prius) drove like a wienie near me!
   3. Somehow that was fun!
   4. I feel like an actual biker now.

I wish I could say this was exaggerated but I actually talk like this, especially when nobody is listening. The moral of the story is that even though I am still a new rider with only a few thousand miles under my gloves, I managed to get through one of the most challenging things we face as riders. It was the most nerve-racking and satisfying moment I have yet to have as a rider, followed by my first large group riding experience, dear lord side-by-side riding.

If you are a newer rider, don’t think you are unable to ride through certain situations simply because you are new. Obviously know your limits and don’t go riding into a thunderstorm because you want to challenge yourself. What I mean is don’t let something like a surprise rain shower or crappy road surface freak you out! It’s not like these type of riding techniques can be taught in the classroom, you have to experience them first-hand in order to learn. So get a little wet, phrasing, and ride on. It might be the most satisfying experience you have yet to have on two wheels.

Say Yes To Lane Splitting

Watching someone drive erratically with a phone attached to their face will always piss me off.

Coming from a rider who sometimes rides fast on open roads, I promise I don’t want to split between cars to race around. If anything, I recognize that there is an inherent danger to riding between people applying eye-liner and eating a burger. However, I’d rather have the option to get around and away from those beautiful and full motorists rather then squished between them and the car in front of them.

One of the most surprising things I’ve discovered as a newer rider, was just how much more observant I’ve become over drivers driving habits. You begin to predict what people will do before their vehicle moves and it has already saved my life a few times. For all this newly discovered intuition, one situation continues to make me sweat inside my helmet; approaching or being stuck at intersections.

While moving, it is very easy to keep track of the drivers around me and make adjustments to avoid being smushed by lawyer in his Audi screaming vigorously into his phone. While coming up to an intersection or stopped, my exit strategy is cut down and I’m sorry to say this, but on bike I really don’t trust others driving. I’ve noticed that motorists seem to relax their attention when approaching an intersection. It’s almost as if they think the hardest part of the drive is over and they can read that email now or reach for a Cliff Bar while slowing for a stop. Also, I don’t understand the how so many people forgot what lane they need to be in and jump over last minute, usually without a turn signal.

For these reasons, I wish New Jersey, as well as all other states, legalized lane-splitting. I know that many motorists will rage that riders will just rip between them at 100mph if you legalize this, but to be fair, the guys who choose to do that don’t care if it is legal or not. I would even be happy if the police officers have digression to determine whether a rider is splitting safely or dangerously. From what I can tell, that is currently the practice in California and hopefully their tweaking of the law will deter newer riders from scaring the crap out of motorists (For more info on Cali’s practices read this article). Trust me, I don’t want to sneak between cars at triple digit speeds and have someone accidentally veer into me so it isn’t about simply going fast.

Being able to just move to front on an intersection at stopped light means that all the four-wheeled lunatics are behind me and stopped. So long as I don’t blow past motorists revving the nuts off my bike, I would hope they appreciate I am getting away from them as well. Many people get nervous around bikes and that adds to them making poor decisions. Perhaps the most beneficial purpose of lane splitting is in traffic jams though. We all know that no matter how much you love Jesus or how much yoga you do, traffic brings out the inner yeti in all of us. You become angry, inpatient, and forget how to drive safely. I will admit to letting the yeti out myself prior to getting a motorcycle, but I have since realized just how dangerous that mentality is. Having the ability to SLOWLY move between the traffic and getting by all the shouty yetis keeps the motorcyclists safe…and cool…oh so cool.

All this being said, I am curious what other riders think. My uncle, who also rides, does not like splitting since he feels as if he is in greater danger. Many of our other friends who ride cruisers are also nervous about motorists giving them enough room to pass between since a bagger with highway bars isn’t exactly skinny like a Triumph Daytona.

Comment below to split the hairs about lane splitting…see what I did there, I’m so punny.

 

Four Perils of Riding in South Jersey

I want to start this first post by stating that I love living in South Jersey. Being just 20 minutes from Philadelphia, 45 minutes to an hour from Atlantic City, and being surounded by a million awesome restaurants, southern New Jersey is pretty fantastic. Oh, and one more thing, we have Wawa’s everywhere.

However, riding a motorcycle in this area does present a few unique challenges that make staying on two wheels a bit difficult. This list is in no particular order, but you may be able to tell what sets me off the most.

1. Senior Citizen’s

If you have ever been to Florida and wonder where all those old people come from, they most likely hail from Jersey and other sections of the tri-state area. While we all love our grandmothers cooking, having to ride through a sea of people who can’t see and whose feet hurt is just plain scary.

Since the driver of the Buick in front of you cannot see or hear properly, there is a good chance they have no clue you are near them. I have startled many elders be simply being near them which results in an unexpected brake-check or lane-swerve. This can be mildly bottom-clenching.

What really causes problems though is when your grandmother drives too slow. Bottling up traffic and causing other motorists to rage is what old drivers do best. While riding through Medford the other day, I was stuck behind a line of cars traveling at a solid 35-37 mph in a 50mph zone. Looking through the cue, I could see the beige Honda CRV causing the delay. Every driver in front of me was tailgating the person in front of them and swerving into the far left edge of the lane to see around jam. This was a very dangerous situation and I quickly bailed onto a back road.

I know the driver of that Honda was just a sweet old lady heading to CVS to grab her month supply of pills, but she was the cause of multiple drivers shaking fists, honking, swerving, and all types of other aggression. Each one of these can be an issue to the poor biker who just wants to find some twisty’s to carve through and suddenly is being tailgated out of aggression.

2. Foreign Drivers

Now I understand that I might catch flack for picking on foreign drivers, but the truth is the truth. The area I live in has a high population of Asian and Indian people. While having an abundance of epic food and other cultures around me is great, riding around people who do not understand our driving laws can lead to truly terrifying situations.

A great example of this was last weekend when I was coming home from visiting my friend Jamie and her boyfriend Pete. I was in the far-right lane of a major road (Route 73 for my fellow Jersey folk) and a driver cut across four lanes of traffic to try to make the turn I was in position to make. This resulted in the two cars in front of me slamming on their brakes and me having to jam on mine as well. My rear locked up and I managed to hold the slide until righting myself. Since I was making the turn this driver was making as well, I kept extra distance behind them since I could tell something was off. The driver then proceeded to come to a sudden stop in the middle of the road, leaving me to pat myself on the back for staying back so far. I decide to go around the vehicle and get away from this driver. As I pass, I look into the car to see what the problem was, and all I saw was four elder Indian people looking very confused. They were most likely lost and in need of directions, but instead of safely pulling over, the driver was just putting other motorists lives in jeopardy.

I understand that by stating a group of people are bad at something seems brash, but incidents like this happen all the time where I live. I thoroughly believe that people coming from countries with less developed motor vehicle training simply get confused when on our major roads with Jersey drivers that are always in a rush to hit up Pancheros. It is nothing against their culture or anything like that, it is simply an observation of driving abilities.

3. Road Conditions

While many suburbs in South Jersey are known for their affluent nature, there is clearly not enough money being collected in taxes to keep our roads maintained. Add that to winters which hit us hard enough for snowplows to cut potholes into the road, and it can be tricky to navigate even major road networks.

Unless a road has been re-paved within three-to-six months, you must constantly scan for cracks, creases, weird paving lines, holes, horrific cross-lane speed bump things (drive down route 70 in Cherry Hill near the Triplex and you know exactly what I mean), and debris. What is surprising is just how quickly the roads deteriorate. The state does not seem to pour the asphalt thick enough, so after one winter, new roads are already damaged.

Now on my bike, I have mini floor boards that allow me to easily stand up and get over large bumps very comfortably. Sport-bike riders might have a less enjoyable experience trying to hang on.

4. Allergies

This particular peril does not affect all riders, but if you are plagued with pollen problem like myself than South Jersey can certainly be unpleasant. Following our winters, Jersey goes through an explosion of pollen around April which paints all vehicles green and turns thousands of eyes red. In a car you can have your box of tissues and eyes drops easily handy nobody can see you suffering. Wearing a full-face helmet and protective gear means you are layers away from a tissue which means you will sneeze inside your helmet and you will be thoroughly disgusted with yourself. Then because you have a full-face, you will be riding around, still probably sneezing, looking for a place to pull over and remove your helmet to fix yourself. Once you finally pull over and take off your gross helmet, you then discover that you did not restock your tissue pocket and only have your sleeve to clean your face with. While this has NEVER happened to me, at all, what so ever, I wouldn’t know just how embarrassing and disgusting that scenario is.